waleed shallan,an egyptian,a victim and a hero

i take it everyone knows by now about the virgina tech tragedy in the us,here's a recap for all of u who didnt know.

Cho Seung-Hui , 23, a senior English major at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, killed 32 people in two attacks before taking his own life.

this american from south korean origins killed two people first in the dorms of the college before proceding to kill 30 more in a class room across campus.

why is still under speculation? but what is for sure is that 3 fellow arabs fell victim to this mad man.....two of them are lebanese and one was egyptian

for more info on the lebanese victims,failasoof has created a wonderful post on his blog so please check it out http://failasoof.blogspot.com/2007/04/may-their-souls-rest-in-peace.html

as for that egyptian hero,here is an email sent by a collegue who was in the shooting .he writes to an editor about what that great man did...

"I would like to share with you some additional information that I received from a colleague in the Dept. This colleague of mine is the supervisor of a graduate student who was with Waleed in the class and survived the massacre. I should mention that the description is graphical so I apologize in advance.The student mentions that Waleed saved his life and wants to convey this to Waleed’s family. Apparently, the murderer came into Norris 206 and shot Dr. Loganathan and a number of students injuring Waleed. Waleed was sitting in the front row where he always sat. Everyone jumped to the floor after hearing the gun shots including the person narrating the story. The murderer then left Norris 206 to go to another classroom. The student that narrates the story was not shot but pretended to be dead and lay on the ground beside Waleed who at that time was only injured. The muderer then re-entered the classroom and was checking for alive victims. He had approached the person narrating the story who mentions that his heart was pounding out of fear. Waleed at that instant made a movement to distract the murderer’s attention and was shot for the second time. At that time Waleed died and the murderer left the narrator to search for other victims. Ina Lilliahi wa ina Ilayhi rajeoon."


Shaalan was married and the father of a 1-year-old son.

“He was the simplest and nicest guy I ever knew. We would be studying for our exams and he would go buy a cake and make tea for us,” Fahad Pasha, Waleed’s roommate.
The Egyptian Foreign Ministry said in a statement Wednesday that the Egyptian embassy in Washington was taking steps to fly his body home.

honestly, GOD rest all of their souls,may waleed's family find some peace in knowing they didn't lose an ordinary man but a great hero. also i would like to express my deepest sorrow and respect for the families of Reema and Ross the lebanese students who were also killed and my condolences to all the lebanese people in that respect as well.

photo courtesy of reuters.com

things(and people) that will not change

i think i have some explaining to do,to myself and to my dearest friends.

the post "things that change" led people to believe that i happily move on from one guy to another and that how come i say i love them.

hmmm.well

here's the thing

am a grown up,i know things end,i know when men are being assholes and i save my heart from the heatbreak after a week or so,my longest mourning period over a person was 2 months and now i regret nothing more than those 2 months plus the 3 months i had spent with him already,i mean COME ON,he was nice and sweet but he had some serious issues,which i dont mind and i even welcome to help but he did 2 things that hurt me the most,he lied to me about something very personal am not allowed to disclose (coz am a grown up and grown ups respect privacy) the second thing was the fact that he saw someone else behind my back and that his feelings had "drifted" ....................oooooooooooooook.

i dont mind when people say they dont love you anymore.what i mind is when someone accepts me being treated that way,let me explain.

let's say X and Z are dating,then Z (the man) meets someone else (make it by chance or by will) then they go out for like 2 weeks in which Z lies to X constantly about his whereabouts and whom he is with,fast forward..... X finds out ,tears are shed,she tried to salvage the whole thing for like 3 weeks or a month when they both sit down and agree that he Z loves X and just drifted coz he has issues or whatever (and let's face it,drifting is drifting regardless of the reason)they agree to be friends,X moves on,and meets another person by chance,mentally attracted to but never in love with him (different story) then people start accusing her of jumping between men. HELL NO!

I'm sorry if i offended anyone,i dont offend people,if anyone knows me and thinks am wrong in my account of the story please talk to me and explain to me. and by the way,if a girl goes out with a guy and knows he is seeing someone else,guess what? that's the lowest thing ever,unless she didnt know the full extent of the relationship and if that's the case i fully apologize.other than that,i never offended anyone and if i did by mistake am sorry. other than that i dont owe anyone anything but myself and the only thing i owe myself id the truth which i keep hidden within myself but only vent to the world eveyonce in a while through this blog and i ain't planning to stop venting,so i don't like what i say just walk away.

ps: this isnt a direct msg to someone,anyone who reads this can understand and relate to at least one aspect of these conflicting emotions,sorry if am "blahing" too much today,am so irritated and i had to do this for my mental health which i really appreciate.

A story

I have just had the weirdest email ever.....
remember my friend who committed suicide after getting raped a couple of years ago?

well, i just got an email from her brother who didnt talk to her and considered the whole thing her fault ....

it read

"dear strawberry (of course he didnt say that name) remember me? I'm**** ,the brother of ur friend ****
i need ur help, i moved into the US for good and life is going fine,except for one thing,i dream of her everyday.EVERYDAY. every time it's all about her looking at me in blame.at first i didnt know what to do but i was pissed off at how rude she is to haunt me like this when am really trying to move on(yes believe it or not,he chose the word RUDE about a person coming back from the dead) i consulted a therapist and he thinks i should finally face it after 3 years.

can u help me ?"

i replied asking him to telll me what he really feels about it and 2 days later i get the longest email in history,i chose one part coz i think it says it all.

he wrote
"when mum told me what happened she couldn't look me in the eyes,u know what a man feels when his MOTHER cant look him in the eyes,thisis the highest level of shame and guilt and anger u can feel ever. And since my mother cant look me in the eye,i caouldnt not possibly talk to the bitch who brought this on the family,what? dont feel weird,YES,i thought she was a bitch,a part of me still does,is that so bad? Anyway,i went for a walk at night and i realized something,i was walking down a quiet dark street and i realized that 2 months before that incident i took my then girlfriend in my car and we parked here,and we had sex. i could have said we made love but for me it was having sex,u know what? i think i raped her that day,she didnt want to get it done in the car and i pretended not to listen.i did what someone else had done to my sister,u know why?we think u girls deserve it with ur cute outfits and ur smiles and business faces and the look that says (whatever),we know u want that and that makes us want u"

"moving on,i just wanted to say I'm sorry,about the way my family hid it from u but what am most sorry for is not hugging my sister and telling her it's going to be fine,now after all these years i wish i could have whispered to her while she's in my arms and said 'it's not ur fault,everything us going to be fine' but that's my guilt to live with"



end of story,u think that concludes it for me? i don't but at least i respect the guy for not being such an asshole anymore,maybe there's hope for some men afterall.and to her i say,u have no idea how much i miss u and how much i shiver everytime i think of u,but that's my pain to live with and my tears to shed,i love u girl,more than i ever loved a friend in my entire life.

just say it

definition"


Sexual assault is defined as any sort of sexual activity between two or more people in which one of the people is involved against his or her will.
The sexual activity involved in an assault can include many different experiences. Women can be the victims of unwanted touching, grabbing, oral sex, anal sex, sexual penetration with an object, and/or sexual intercourse.


There are a lot of ways that women can be involved in sexual activity against their will. The force used by the aggressor can be either physical or non-physical. Some women are forced or pressured into having sex with someone who has some form of authority over them (e.g., doctor, teacher, boss). Women can be bribed or manipulated into sexual activity against their will. Others may be unable to give their consent because they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. In some cases, the sexual aggressor threatens to hurt the woman or people that she cares about. Finally, some assaults include physical force or violence.


I dare you if You haven't related to any scenario of the above....................................

UN fact in 1996(11 years ago,multiply that number by 3 now or something) ""Globally, men's violence against women causes more deaths and disability among females aged 15-44 than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents or war".

just a fact,please all of u out there

tell ur friends and loved ones to send stories of themselves ,of how they were treated without justice of compassion,only if we talk about we can actually stop it.just say it,loud or not,just say it

I've learned that.... (campaign against sexism in the arab world)

that i do actually like myself and that i wouldn't change a thing or an event that i went through coz THAT made me what I am today

that i dont appreciate myself accordingly with the way people appreciate me. I appreciate myself REGARDLESS of the way others appreciate me.

that I can be my own best friend but that i always have to cherish the moments i spend with my friends coz they may never happen again.

that depression is fine but for 3 days at the most,life is too short to be wasted in anger.sadness of sheer frustration.